I always dreamed of being a SAHM and I would dream about all the things I could do with my kids, crafts, learning activities, play groups, etc. God must have had a different idea for our family. I respect and admire ALL moms who have the patience to stay home with their kids and I know your kids are getting a lot more than I am giving my kids.
I have been reading a lot in the bloggy world and also hearing from my friends who are SAHMs about how they are feeling "under fire" so-to-speak for
not working outside of the home and then I report that I feel "under fire" because
I do work outside of the home.
When my mom was raising us kids it was during the time when women's lib was coming up (or maybe it was already in full force) and she was criticized for staying home to raise her 6 children. There were other times in my growing up years that she did work, sometimes night jobs, or other times retail during the day while we were in school. But in any event, when I had kids she didn't push me either way -- she said she supported whatever we decided to do.
We decided I should quit my job of 5 years to stay home with Spirit. During that time Mr. Man owned his own construction business and was doing pretty well. Then the unthinkable happened....he had a motorcycle accident when Spirit was 6 months old. He ended up in the hospital and had to have screws put in his shoulder. Even after the recovery time and all the physical therapy he just wasn't able to do the construction work anymore because he didn't have full range of motion in that one arm. We pondered, prayed and contemplated what to do. We had several medical bills and debts that had accumulated while he was in the hospital and neither one of us was making any money.
About that time my previous boss called me up and asked if I was looking for a job because my position had opened up again. So we pondered, prayed and contemplated some more and finally decided I should take the opportunity and go back to work. A close friend of ours agreed to watch Spirit for us at a
cheap reasonable weekly rate.
After several months of being out of work, Mr. Man was finally able to get out and look for a job. He found a job that he absolutely loves (just so happens it is his dream job from when he was younger!), but the pay is not the best. The thing is--- he loves it and nothing makes me happier than to see him happy. We have talked about whether or not he should find something else that pays more, but honestly I feel like God wants him there. We pray constantly about it.
Then we had more kids and I was being promoted at my job left and right. I ended up in management there. Accepting the promotions was NEVER about the money. It was a good job, good bosses and good people to work with. My bosses were very good to me and to my family. My kids were well cared for by my Christian friend who was unable to have any kids of her own so she treasured mine as though they were hers. I always thought to myself if I can't be the SAHM then this is the next best thing!
Just as Spirit was starting preschool our dear friend decided she couldn't watch our kids anymore. She and her husband were buying a house way out in the farm country and it would be too hard on us to drive there nor would it be feesible for her to come our way. It was hard to see her go and we still see her on a regular basis!
As it turned out our Pastor's wife, who had been doing childcare in her home but was wanting out of that, called us up asking if we needed a "nanny". She has now been watching the kids since Spirit was in preschool and she comes to our house! It is wonderful.
Mr. Man has arranged his schedule so that he leaves early for work and is off in time to pick up the boys from school. I have arranged my schedule (thanks to a new job that ISN'T management, but just as fun of a place) so that I am home all morning and take the boys to school and head to work after I drop them off at school. Lady Bug is the only one home with the "nanny".
When I am at the school I am frowned upon for being a working mom. I get a flat "Ohhhhh, you don't stay home with your kids?" when they find out I work outside of the home. It is so different than what my mom was hearing but as equally as frustrating.
I am the "bread winner" in our home and we are content with that. I feel like my kids have it really good and I feel we are doing God's will. Whether anyone else wants to believe that or not. I pray every night and ask God to guide us. So far this is where He wants us to be. We are not having me work so we can live lavishly. We don't. I drive a beat old van. We have a beat up old and tiny house with a first mortgage payment of $1,300.00 per month and we pay our "nanny" pennies for salary. I am not a materialistic person and so we don't have "things"....we have the necessities. We don't have a boat or a vacation home somewhere. I work and I am content with that.
Lately though, I feel like I have been criticized for it. I told someone that I didn't think I would make a good SAHM anyway because I lack the patience to do it. This woman told me that "you know that old saying 'it isn't quantity, it is quality' that is a bunch of hogwash. You need to be content with the little things so that you can stay home to raise your children." I was so upset by that because we have nothing but the little things and frankly my husband's salary would pay our mortgage and maybe one or two bills.
Again, I say I have so many friends who are SAHM and I admire them and their kids are probably better off than mine, but I won't really know how mine will turn out until they are grown and by then it will be too late anyway.
The note inside told me how these delicate ornaments were handcrafted in 
