His homework schedule is the same each week. Monday through Wednesday he has math homework, spelling homework and has to read for 20 minutes every night. Every Wednesday night he has to do a book report of a book he has been reading. Each night we are to sign off on his reading log that he read for the 20 minutes. Math and spelling are turned in each morning. But, on Thursday nights he just has reading and is supposed to write his spelling words 3 times, which is due Friday.
So this morning here is what he was supposed to turn in:
- Signed reading log for Monday - Wednesday
- Completed book report
- Math homework from Wednesday night
- Written spelling words in a sentence
He could find only the reading log. No math. No book report. No spelling word in sentences.
We searched everywhere in the house. Could not find it. I tried asking him where he had last and he could not remember if it was at home, at school or the after school program.
Apparently, if they do not turn in homework they have to stay in from recess to complete it, hence the tears from Spirit. Mr. Man wanted to go talk to the teacher. He wanted to tell her it was clearly an accident and isn't there something we could do. I told him I didn't think he should bother. Spirit needs to learn that lesson. It is a lesson in responsibility. That's why they make them stay in at recess so that it sinks in a little. I told Mr. Man that the teacher doesn't want to spend her break sitting in the classroom with a child any more than the child wants to sit in there. It is called tough love, honey.
Maybe I was too harsh. Sometimes I am hard on Spirit because he takes so much after his dad. I can't tell you how many times I have spent my precious morning searching the house for Mr. Man's keys, glasses, Daytimer, or even his shoes. Yes he misplaces his shoes and we find them in some of the oddest places! I have also spent countless hours searching the house for Spirit's things, coats, lunch box, allowance money, his favorite PlayStation game. So days like this I shrug my shoulders and say "You will have to face the consequences."
Anyway, Mr. Man went to the school with the boys this morning and they checked with the after school program to see if he left it in there and they didn't have it. Mr. Man did not go to the teacher. He came home very sad, said he was going to have a terrible day because he wanted to make Spirit's day better for him.
Tough love, honey, tough love!
18 comments:
Got your back on this one. I couldn't agree more. My second grader forgot to bring her homework sheet home the other day. I too shrugged and told her she would have to make up for it in class the next day. She has to learn to do for herself. A few times and I guarantee they will not do it again!
I totally understand where you're coming from. And when this happens at our house (like the other day when my 8th grade daughter couldn't find an entire science folder) my gut instinct is to do whatever it takes to save my kids from the result - however, a little tough love can fix the problem. Their memories have improved after a time or two of "sorry about your luck" attitude from mom.
Oh, and the folder, you ask? She had left it in class and the teacher was waiting for her to realize it was gone and ask about it instead of the teacher just giving it back to her. So, I think the teacher was playing a little bit of the game, too!
I was a "forgetter" for a loooong time because my Daddy was always there to bring me gas, bring me a book I forgot at home, etc. Once I didn't have him around, I learned pretty quickly to remember things!
I think what you did was great! I would have liked to learn the lesson a bit earlier when the stakes weren't so high! Better to miss a recess than pay a $150 late fee on your mortgage or get fired because you missed multiple deadlines, right??
That made it sound like I got fired for missing deadlines...haha
Sorry, just illustrating my point.
he's so sensitive... seriously, but you did the right thing I think... It's so hard to find ways to teach kids responsibility but this is a pretty natural one!
I agree with you on this one too.
Although, I feel for your little guy maybe this will help him become more responsible..
Aw, life and the lessons we must learn... the lessons are hard whether your 7 or 33 but where we overcome is if we truly learn from them..
I hope your little guy isn't to upset over missing recess..
Hi!!
Thank you so much for stopping by my blog today! Hope you'll be back, again!
I enjoyed reading your blog and will be back when I have a little more time. Dinner's calling... :)
Ah, it is hard to do tough love. I need to be way better at it. We did teach my guy about wearing a coat. We give him the choice, we just say it's cold out today Boo. And leave it at that, he either wears it and is warm or doesn't and is cold. Somedays he's cold. But he has to learn right? (As I sit there at ten am thinking of my baby out in the freezing cold...) yeah, tough love is hard!
I agree with you, but I am sure it was hard on you to have to be tough! (and on your husband) Sounds like it was a good lesson...
Carrie
sounds like an all-too familiar scenario with my little duckling! btw, i loved your idea of "I Spy" christmas newsletter! Think I am going to try that.
You did the SITS roll call just right!
I am with you on this one.. it's the consequence.. I do have to say the amount of homework my 7 year old does boggles my mind.
Welcome to the SITStahood!
That stuff just drives me batty! I've made Ciara go to school without homework as well, and once made her pay the $5 to the library for a book she lost. She didn't have to skip recess because of the homwork, but she did have consequences.
Although, what makes me crazier these days is the fact that I can't seem to keep up with my own stuff lately. My brain is full and is beginning to purge things. Randomly.
Can we possibly be married to the same man? I found Read's wallet in the fridge once! It's a constant battle to keep track of "things" for 4 people (let alone the 5 in your house!).
Awww, poor little guy. But I agree with the above. This will only happen a couple times before he starts keeping track of his assignments!
You'll have to let us know if/when he finds them!
I can totally relate with your husband for wanting to just make it better... but I also agree with you that it's a lesson they have to learn on their own. I think you did the right thing...
No one said parenting was easy.
I hope he has a better day tomorrow :-)
MommyWizdom
awwwww bless his little heart, such hard lessons we have to learn. My ds is a forgetter, I promise he would loose his head if it were not physically attached to his body. Tough love truly is Tough on the kid and parent!
thanks for stopping by my blog today and telling me you were there :) Always nice to know we are not writing for just ourselves.
I have to agree that you did the right thing, no matter how much it hurt! Just give Mr. Man a little snuggle and let him know that Spirit will survive and be all the better for it! My little guy is only 11 months, but I have a feeling I'll be in your shoes in the next few years. :)
Yep, totally with ya on this one! I thought it was cute of Mr. Man to care so much though. How thoughful of him.
Thanks for stopping by my blog. I always get so excited to get a comment, especially from a newbie. (sad? maybe)
I'm this sort of parent as well. I tell my kids that they have to take responsibilty for their homework, handing it in and completing it. And if they don't spread it out during the week, I refuse to let them stay up late on Thursday night to get everything done.
To me, homework in primary school is practise for high school and the study habits they learn when they're young are the habits they'll have when they're older. And I was terrible with my study habits, always did assignments the night before and even though I passed, I could have done so much better. And even now I'm bad at delaying gratification, something I really need to learn.
Post a Comment