You will have to forgive this vent session, which, as I re-read it, is more like a pity party, but I need to write it down and get it off my chest... so here it goes:
I am not really sure why God thought I needed two boys and why he thinks I know how to raise them. Because every day they do something new that boggles my mind and totally makes me feel like a worthless parent!
I am the baby of six, there are 4 girls and 2 boys. My brothers are 14 and 15 years older than me so I never got to see my mom dealing with 6 and 7 year old boys who do wild and crazy things. My mom has told me about my brother Scott climbing trees, jumping off the roof (which resulted in a quick trip to the ER), hanging by his pant leg from the clothes line, etc. but I never got to see how she handled these situations.
I freak out when the boys wrestle because I just know someone will end up hurt. I can't stand to watch them climbing things or racing fast down the hill. Mr. Man continually says to me "They are boys. That is what boys do."
This morning I realized I just have no clue how to discipline a boy, or when to actually do the disciplining. Today I feel like such a bad mom. I have no clue what I am doing here with these boys of mine!
This morning, for instance, I watched the boys chase each other through the house and then one tackled the other. All this ended with one crying. I then started to talk to them and Spirit yanked something out of Lefty's hand and the thing went flying right at my head. I tried to take Spirit's arm to lead him to a chair so we could talk and he yanked his arm out of mine. I then got upset and grabbed him by the back of the neck and led him upstairs to talk. He told me that he hates his brother -- that hurt me. I don't want them to hate each other and I'm sure he really only hated him for that moment, but it still hurt. I didn't know what to say though. I tried my best. I thought we resolved it. We both headed downstairs. I had to leave for work and Spirit followed me out. Then when I said my goodbyes to him I asked him to go back inside. He said he didn't want to. I said I needed him to. He got defiant and said he wasn't going inside. I had to get firm again and he reluctantly went inside.
As I drove away I felt like I just didn't handle the situations right and frankly, I have to admit that I am glad I am not home and don't have to deal with them all day. I am either not firm enough or too firm or what I say isn't working or something. I almost feel like I need some professional guidance in how to deal with things like this.
3 comments:
Oh girlfriend, I feel for you! I'm thankful that I didn't have 2 close together or I would be in the same boat with you.
Even though 2 of mine are older, they still have to deal with consequences of their actions. You have to let them know that certain behavior will not be tolerated and STICK to your word. It's tough love but sometimes that's what it takes!
i don't know. being the mom of a girl, I feel like this all of the time. That i just didn't handle it right... don't know exactly what to do... Parenting stinks.
Just wanted to drop in and offer some support. Being a parent is SO tough. My little boy is only three, but some days I just wonder HOW am I going to do this parenting thing right. I'm so hard on myself, but I keep reminding myself that God MUST have thought I'd be the perfect mom to him or I wouldn't be here. All I can do is pray...ALOT.
Post a Comment