A pet peeve

After we delivered our stillborn baby, Wesley, 5 years ago, I had to make a trip to the grocery store because even though food was the last thing I wanted, I had two little boys who needed to eat. First of all, I noticed every baby and every pregnant woman. It seemed that there were hundreds in the store that day. I know it probably wasn't any more or less than any other day, but since I was grieving it seemed that babes and pregnant women were at every inch of the store. It felt as though I could not turn my head without seeing one. It cut me to the core every time. Then I got to the checkout and was so sad I didn't speak much to the cashier. As he handed me my receipt he said words that I know I had said to people probably many times before, but at that moment I swore I would never say them again:

"Smile. It isn't that bad."


I didn't say anything, but I thought to myself: "You have absolutely no idea how bad my life is right now."


It was at that moment I decided not to ever say that to someone. It frankly has become a pet peeve of mine, if I hear someone say that I just cringe. I guess it really made me realize that unless you really, really, really know someone you don't know what is going on on the inside of them.


I also acknowledge the fact that this gentleman was not trying to twist a knife in my already aching heart (he would have no way of knowing that my heart was already in shreds), I know he was simply trying to bring a smile to my face, but it stung so bad that I just decided I would not and could not ever say that to someone.