I want to have a house that all the kids want to play at. I try to provide a fun and welcoming environment. Last summer we constantly had kids at our house and it was fun! But starting in about June of 2007, a school friend of Spirit's who happens to live about a block and a half away started coming over.... a lot. His mom will drop him off and then leave, not really asking me if it is even ok for him to come over! She doesn't call first, she doesn't come to the door with him or anything. It is plain weird.
The other day I got home from work and he was, of course, over at our house. OH, and let me say here, that he is a fairly good kid, he doesn't treat his mom very good, but he is always very polite at my house. So anyway, back to the other day... I got home and they were playing and everything was peachy. I started making dinner, just like I always do when I get home from work.
I had dinner ready and told "T" that Mr. Man would walk him home.
He said "But I'm supposed to stay here until 6:30 tonight."
I told him that it was time for us to eat dinner and so he needed to go home.
"But no one is home at my house."
I said "What do you mean 'no one is home'?"
He said that his mom dropped him off so she could go grocery shopping and wouldn't be back until 6:30
I looked at Mr. Man, he looked at me and we both just let our jaws fall to the floor. We didn't know what to do.
I asked if his dad was home and he didn't know so I called "T's" home and his dad answered. I told his dad we were bringing "T" home and he was very kind about it, not acting weird in anyway (also not offering to come get him though)
I find that weird. I would never assume it is ok for my kid to hang out at someones house. These kids are in 1st grade..... this is the age you need to talk to the other parents and see if it is ok.
One day when I opened the door to see "T's" big blue eyes and toothless grin staring at me, he came on in (before I invited him) and boldly announced "My mom says it is ok if I want to eat dinner here tonight." Now, normally I would take something like that with "a grain of salt", knowing that the words may have been twisted slightly and I wouldn't have been offended, I might have even been excited to have him stay for dinner, but with this family I find that his mom very easily could have said that to him and I get offended.
If the mother would call me or come to the door and just say, "I have errands to run would it be ok for him to stay here until I am done?" I would absolutely say no problem! I would not have the tiniest issue feeding him either.
Am I being over-sensitive or mean here?
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7 comments:
That woman is taking advantage of you. She sees it as free baby sitting. That is ridiculous.
I agree with Jennifer. This woman is taking advantage of you.
Do you have her cell number in case she has dropped her kid off at your house without letting you know she isn't going to be home? What if he got in an accident? How would you reach her?
I never even thought about what if something happened to him... we don't have a cell number. I will need to take care of that and get that from her.
Do you talk to this mother? Are you sure the kid isn't telling her that he's already gotten permission from you and she just believes him? I mean, if she trusts you and knows her kid and your kid are friends and you've let him come over in the past, if her kid says you said he could come over, then she might okay it without confirming it with you... I would have to talk to the mom directly and find out what's going on. I can't necessarily blame her straight out without knowing.
Andrea: unfortunately this mother never really speaks with either my husband or myself so she would have no way of knowing whether we are ok with it or not. I guess that is what bugs me the most! I agree with you that if we talked often enough she might assume I was ok with him coming over, but that just isn't the way it is :o(
I can't believe this story! Holy Cow! It seems as if she doesn't even know much about your family! I'm sure you are wonderful people, but the mom doesn't even know that! In this day and age, you just can't drop your kids off like that...for everyone's safety!
This mother is really taking advantage of you. It also makes you wonder if her child is supervised at all when he is home with her. We have neighbors that are somewhat like this. We got up one morning and heard something in our garage. Our neighbor kid had let himself in thru the side door and was playing with our kids toys wiating for us to wake up. His mother didn't even know that he wasn't at home when we called to tell her that it was ok for him to stay and play for a bit. SCARY! He is 6 years old.
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