Getting older

You know when you are 6, 10 or 12 birthdays are something to look forward to. You count down the days to your birthday! It has been 10 or more years since I did any counting down for my birthday and now that I am approaching . . . *cough* *cough* . . . thirty . . . six *hack* *hack* *cough* *cough* I am not enjoying getting older as much as I used to. My birthday is this coming Friday and I can actually feel myself getting older. My joints hurt in the morning, things are sagging more and more, I am more forgetful than normal and my doctor told me this week that I am in Perimenopause. WHA???

In years past I haven't felt older or any different on my birthdays, but I remember hating turning 31. Yes 31. I guess to me it felt like I was officially in my 30's. Silly, I know! But that is the only birthday I had issues with and normally it is another day. I celebrate and then move on to the next day, no big deal. Then this week I realized that I needed to see my ObGyn due to some personal issues going on each month before and during my period. These issues have been going on for several months and getting worse. I guess being 36 (or almost anyway) I am that much closer to 40 and I never thought I'd have an issue with being 40, but this perimenopause thing has me all freaked out. I know it is a treatable thing and isn't life threatening, but it just means I am older. I don't think I am ready to be "older". I know that we all get older and a big shock, someday we will all die. *gasp* But that doesn't mean I have to like it!

As I write this I realize an "older" woman should NOT have her birthday so close to her period 'cause this dang PMS stuff makes getting "older" even worse.

So happy birthday to me in 2 days -- woo hoo.